Unconditional Self-Love – a Cure for the Stress of Modern Life

Unconditional Self-Love – a Cure for the Stress of Modern Life

By Jamie Themadjaja

A few years back someone gave me an out of the ordinary gift. It was a message I was ready to receive. We were talking about spirituality. In a gracious way, he asked me, “Don’t you know your higher power has unconditional love for you?” After that, my mind began to glow with warm thoughts. Does the divine have unconditional love for me? Is my higher consciousness an unconditional love? The pervasive energy that is in this universe is unconditional love if I choose to see it that way.

All the years of my life I’ve been considering what the essence of spirituality is, what it could be, is it an energy? Is it a type of consciousness? Is it in nature? Is it a system of rituals? Is it a feeling of omnipresence? But, I’d never considered that the essence of spirituality is unconditional love.

Why would one of the world’s most popular philosophies have such a powerful message of unconditional love? The message isn’t just there for us to expect it from our higher power or from the universe. I realized the message used the example of it and we need to apply it to ourselves.

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It is my belief we are in a culture that says, “You have to earn everything.” or “become worthy of it.” Now how exactly does one go about becoming worthy? If you become worthy in one organization you might become unworthy in another. If you become worthy in one political party, you won’t be in the next. If you attain the approval of one person you might fall out of favor with another.

What is this system of working for and becoming worthy of love and approval? How does it really feel to be trying that? Is it authentic? Is it constructive? Is it biased? Is it exhausting?

Society has it wrong as it touts that self-esteem is the premise for a good life. The irony is that self-esteem is usually contingent on success. With unconditional self-love and self-approval there are no prerequisites like there are with self-esteem. Self-esteem usually requires one to be above average. This above averageness or being better than others can come with its own set of unhealthy problems.

So the questions is, what can unconditional love do for you?

Made a mistake in the past? Cure: Self-forgiveness and unconditional self-love.

Will make some mistakes in the future? Cure: Self-forgiveness and unconditional self-love.

Going through a hard time? Go ahead and say to yourself, “I am here for you, I am going to love you even more through this.”When you start to doubt that you deserve unconditional love. Ask yourself how many times do you want to pay for a mistake or the past? Ask yourself is it better to ruminate on a problem or love yourself and let go.

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When you start to doubt that you deserve unconditional love. Ask yourself how many times do you want to pay for a mistake or the past? Ask yourself is it better to ruminate on a problem or love yourself and let go.

What are the possible outcomes? Well just maybe when you unconditionally love yourself you may start to feel less stress and pressure. When you are more self-loving you might find yourself doing more self-caring things. You may start unconditionally loving other people.

Unconditional self-love is a powerful healer. Applying this practice can take patience. When you fall off the path, gently hop back on. Your spirituality is always a mentor to guide you back. I would regard unconditional self-love in the top three of types of self-change one might want to achieve in life. Doing this work can get you off the unhealthy perspective that keeps us on a hamster wheel of over-achievement and unhappiness in life. Learn to love and approve of yourself first. This work has a way of reframing your very existence. While asking yourself, “what is it I need to accomplish in this life?”, coming from a place of self-love and self-approval first can drastically alter the responses one might come up with.


“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha


Jamie Themadjaja

Has been providing all clients with compassionate, friendly and intuitive service. A certified massage therapist with 14 years of experience. A Jackson dweller of 25 years. Specialties include deep tissue, chakra balancing, intuitive readings, spa treatments, hot stone, sports massage, neuromuscular therapy, assisted stretching, home exercise plans for postural change. Working with clients one on one to help improve their quality of life is a passion of mine. anjamassagejh.com


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